Antiojos

When I was in fourth grade, I failed the eye test for the first time. I figured that it would be inevitable, with my family history, the fact that I was struggling to see the board, and most importantly - my constant state of failure. Even so, I was mortified (as every awkward, unpopular fourth grade loser is when they come to the realization that they will have to wear a contraption on their face for the rest of their life, or else risk cartoonist risk bumping into anything in their general vicinity). The mortification led to me flat-out refusing to wear them for a good 2-3 months after cleverly stashing them behind my dresser. Sooner or later though, my mother forced me to wear them on and off for a good two years. After that, my strong-willingness ( the then bane of her existence) worked its magic and my glasses days were over. But it was never easy. I was blind as hell for a good 6 or 7 years, until I finally went back to the eye doctor and got contracts. Instead of squinting like a normal person, I just pulled my left eye to the side. It worked, but I A. probably caused my vision to get even worse and B. looked like a racist Disney cartoon. Noways, I wear my glasses a lot because contacts are a pain sometimes. One of the great things about getting older is you stop caring about when people think (okay maybe not completely) and say screw it, I need to see.

Halloween 2017: What I Watched

A little late, but bear with me.

American Horror Story: Murder House
I watched Seasons 3 and 4, then started 2 and abandoned ship. I think this was the end of my AHS experience though. Ryan Murphy's tendency to give up on his projects halfway though, while extremely relatable,  really gets on my nerves.

Corpse Bride
Actually my first time watching this. I was always a little too creeped out as a child to ever give it a chance. But I do believe whole-heatedly that this is superior to Nightmare Before Christmas. Yeah, I said it.

Young Frankenstein
One of the best comedies films of all time. Mel Brooks is an absolute genius.

Clue
Seriously, so underrated. And also, the best movie ever adapted from a board game.

Addams Family Values
Never cared too much for the TV show, but I do genuinely like and appreciate both of these movies.

Death Becomes Her
Not too impressed, but I can definitely see why it has a cult following.

Sabrina the Teenage Witch
Only the early ones. We don't speak of the college years...

The Office: Halloween Episodes
Classic every time. Also, the post-Michael Scott years have not held up as well as I remembered.

Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad
It's hard to think that this ever got a theatrical release. My mom never showed us this as kids because she thought The Wind and the Willows was "too weird." While I necessarily wouldn't call it weird, it definitely wasn't what I expected. All this is forgiven with the money shot of the Headless Horseman in the Ichabod Crane segment though. Damn. No wonder he struck fear into the minds of children everywhere.

February

It's February. Which means it's still cold as hell in the morning when I leave for work, but almost all the snow has melted. It was a really frigid winter. My dad claimed that it disproved that "global warming nonsense," so that's fun.

This winter was uneventful. Black Friday was rough, but it seemed less chaotic than last year. Probably because it was my second time around, ya know? Christmas seemed to come and go. Uncle Dan and Aunt BB were out of town so there were only five of us. Mom and Dad enjoyed having a smaller group, but I didn't. Christmas to me means being surrounded by a lot of people. We don't do anything with the Paradis' anymore, and the Gaudette family group seems to dwindle every year. It's sad, driving around after Christmas and seeing all the lights up. For a brief second I got all excited until I remembered that it had already come and passed.

I got "promoted" (kind of, not really) at work last month. The new position has its ups and downs. It's sort of stressful at times because it is all independent work and if I screw up, there's nobody to fall back on. Luckily, there's a couple people I can ask questions to. Everyone seems really excited for me. I just hope I made the right decision. I don't want to let anyone down.

Two Things

1. There is no "war on Christmas." Stop trying to be angered about things that don't exist. No businesses are forcing their employees to say "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas" (especially Target, believe me, I asked). Get over it.

2. If you are any kind of business, school, airport etc. that IS trying to remove "Merry Christmas" than get over yourself. Most people in America celebrate Christmas, religious and non-religious alike. And don't try to pull that Kwanzaa crap out because literally nobody celebrates that.

Infinite Pest

Against my better judgement I have decided to read David Foster Wallace's colossal "masterpiece" Infinite Jest. I'm on page 40-something and so far I have absolutely no idea what is going on or even the name of the main character. The last few pages were spent discussing, in detail, the protagonist's struggle with his pot addiction. Something I feel would be very beneficial for some certain people I know to read......

Unlike most of the books I've gone through in the past couple years, I am determined to finish this one. Partially out of curiosity as to what it's about (yes I saw The End of the Tour) and also to further prove my superior intelligence.

Men, Women, and Money

Last year when the whole Sony hack situation happened I remember reading about how the stars of American Hustle (awful movie, don't waste your time if you haven't seen it fyi) would be paid. From what I can understand Christian Bale, Bradley Cooper, and Jeremy Renner all received 9% in back-end compensation, in contrast to the 7% that Amy Adams and Jennifer Lawrence got. As soon as this information got out into the world of course everyone cried "sexism." And I agree, partially. There's no decent excuse as to why Amy Adams didn't make as much as her male co-stars. I'm also surprised at Jeremy Renner getting as much as he did. I know the man is an Avenger and he's been up for 2 Oscars, but still he wasn't in the movie as much as Bale, Adams, and Cooper and I doubt he was much of a box office draw. According to the emails, Jennifer was originally supposed to receive only 5%, which honestly seems fitting to me. She was only in that movie for about 30 minutes. For her to get the 7% that she did is stretching it.

The reason I bring this up now is because Jennifer Lawrence wrote some big op-ed about how Hollywood sexism plagued her and that she should have been paid the same as her male co-stars. Only thing is, she shouldn't have. I consider myself a feminist, and I definitely think that men and women should be paid the same amount for the same work. But at the same time, it's unfair to mistake a difference in the time the actors put in for a gendered pay gap. Like I mentioned before, Amy Adams is the real victim here. Why is nobody mentioning her?

Keeping Portland Weird

Me, mom, and Joe went to Portland 2 weeks ago and I'm already missing it terribly. Browsing the endless shelves of Powells, admiring the interesting sights, seeing old friends, the list goes on and on. Here are some pictures I took from our adventures. Until next time
-Matthew

 
















 

Long and Boring

Everything is just really stressful right now. My computer's been acting up for about a month and 2 weeks ago it stopped working. Apparently the hard drive is broken. I don't know how a hard drive that is 2-years-old stops working,  but mine found a way. Joe tried fixing it but he didn't know how. We brought it in last Monday and as of now it still hasn't been fixed. On top of that our desktop hard drive also broke somehow in the same freaking week.

Today was officially my last day at YVCC. I would say that it felt good, but I'm so stressed about finals I can't even think straight. I'm not worried about History, but Biology scares me. I really want a B out of the class. I'd really like to get honors for my last quarter and if I get another C, that won't happen.

Graduation is next week and while it should make me happy, I'm just kind of panicking. Here I am getting an AA still with no idea what I want to do with my life. I'm more lost than what I started college 2 years ago. I want to pursue higher education, but at the same time college is so hard and I am just so freaking clueless.

-Matthew

Truly Outrageous

Just saw the trailer for the new Jem and the Holograms movie. Now I never watched the original show and I didn't even know it existed until about a year or 2 ago (the closest I've come to seeing footage of it was the Nostalgia Chick episode). When I heard they were gonna do a movie I actually thought it was a clever idea. A fun, 80's campfest, girl power extravaganza would at least be something different than all the meaningless action movies and Seth Rogan comedies we get nowadays. But oh boy was I wrong. The trailer sucked, hard. And people might think that it shouldn't piss me off because I have absolutely no connection to the original Jem, which I do not. But somehow this thing manages to infuriate me. I think it is more of a principle thing more than anything else.

What Jem: the Movie is doing is stripping everything unique about the original.The plot seems so formulaic I swear I've seen it a million times. Person wants to be a musician, gets famous, forced to become someone they aren't. C'mon, I think that describes at least a dozen Disney Channel original movies©. It's so bad that there aren't even any holograms! You think a movie called Jem and the Holograms would at least have a hologram or two. I'm pretty sure Michael Bay's Transformers kept more of the feel for the old 80's cartoon than this does (and that's saying something).

Even when you make a remake or reboot of something, you should still keep SOMETHING that bares a resemblance to the original. Take Christopher Nolan's Dark Knight trilogy. Yes, it was different than any Batman movie audience's had seen before, but it also kept (some) of the essence of who Batman was. Alfred, Commissioner Gordon, Catwoman, the Joker they were all there. Bruce still went through similar events that he went through in the comics (the death of his parents, training in Japan), but they were done with a new twist. If you take a popular franchise or character and make a movie that makes that franchise or character unrecognizable you end up with something like the Super Mario Bros. movie or the 90's Godzilla. And we all know how they turned out.

It might seem a little judgy to say that they "destroyed Jem" just from watching the trailer, but I don't see what could possibly happen in the movie that would surprise anyone. If the movie is closer to the source material than the trailer shows, I gotta question whatever marketing department put this turd together because the main audience for this is kids who grew up watching the show, and this trailer is not going to get them in the theaters.

-Matthew

Sprang Break Playlist

 It's Spring Break! I was so excited I put together a playlist to celebrate the occasion.

1. Falling - Haim
2. Hero - Family of the Year
3. Open Your Eyes - Snow Patrol
4. Wish You Were Here - Pink Floyd
5. Home - Edward Sharpe & the Magnetic Zeroes
6. I Lived - OneRepublic
7. Falling Slowly - Glen Hansard & Marketa Irglova
8. Float On - Modest Mouse
9. Beauty Queen - Black Atlass

Incoherent Ramblings

Lots of things happening. My grandma fell down and broke her shoulder so now she has to be in a nursing home for 6 weeks. I feel bad for her, partly because she's in pain and partly because nursing homes are horrible depressing places. The same day Mimi fell, my great-aunt Jane passed away. She's been having some complications lately, but it's still sad especially since she is sort of the last link to Pops that was left (well besides mom and her siblings, and me and Joe and Helene & David but you get the point).

On the plus side, I only have one more week until school is out for spring break. I have a group presentation that may or may not be a trainwreck, 2 final papers to hand in, and a couple of tests. 5 more days that what I keep telling myself. Not sure what is going to happen over break. According to my parents we are doing "something," but honestly I am just going to be content as long as I'm not in school. Oh and I'm almost done with the Office so I don't know what I'm gonna do with myself.

-Matthew

Almost There

Welp, I signed up for spring quarter. I ain't too happy with what I'm taking (had to cram in a bi-weekly 4 hour art class and PE), but hey I'd rather just finish than prolong this. I know some people love college, but I just can't wait to finish. After I get my Associates degree in June, I'm going to take some time off from college. When I started at YVCC I figured that I would have a great spark of inspiration and wake up one day and realize, "I wanna be a _____!" However, this has yet to happen. I feel more freaked out about this than I should, and I know a lot of people are going to judge me and claim that I wasted my time and my parent's money, but honestly I'm not going to just come up with a career that I'm going to be stuck with for the rest of my life on the fly. I do plan on resuming my education, but I also just need some time off. Hey, my mom took her time. I will be looking for a job. Ideally I would get on at Inklings, but if that doesn't happen I will find something else (not Wray's).

-Matthew

Why the Female Ghostbusters Won't Ruin Your Childhood

Am I the only one that's actually excited for the all-female Ghostbusters sequel? Based on all the sexist crap I've been reading on the Internet, it sure does seem that way. Look people, let's be frank having 4 hilarious women catching ghosts will not ruin your childhood. If it was a reboot starring James Franco, Seth Rogan and co. no one would have a problem (even though I personally think that would be a bigger insult to any franchise than *gasp* women). Somehow people seem to think that by having an all-female cast that it will alienate audiences and spit on the original films. Because 4 men=great entertainment for the whole family and 4 women=shoes, bras, and preaching Gloria Stienem amiright? Melissa McCarthy, Kristen Wiig, Leslie Jones, and Kate McKinnon will all do a great job, and at the end of the day your childhood will still be intact.

-Matthew

Here's a Good Title

Christmas break ends today, which means this time tomorrow I'll be back at school. Yesterday, I went to the YVCC bookstore to buy my books and they only had one of them in stock. Mom ordered me one offline and I guess I'm just going to have to wait the other one out. Over break I was looking after our neighbor's dog Jake and I already miss him. Although I'm not gonna miss walking him in 20 degree Crackima weather. I'm also watching Tracie and Mike's cat again. The first couple days he was great because he still thought they were home, but once he realized that they abandoned him he got real whiny. Despite his meowing, he's a pretty good cat. Likes to nudge my face a lot.

-Matthew

El Plaza De Yakima

Besides weed, the Yakima Herald Republic's favorite topic of discussion is the new plaza the city wants to build downtown in the Olive Garden/Capitol Theater/Orion parking lot. Judging by the number of obstacles they seem to be having, along with the large amount of letters to the editor condemning the project, you would think the plaza would be an impossibility. At some point in time, it seems like the plaza has ceased to be a question of "will they" and is now a question of "when will they."

Like most of the idiocy that goes on in this town (the underpasses, the backwards facing and far-too-small Red Robin) I'm not a fan. I'm not sure what exactly the city thinks this plaza will accomplish, but they sure want it bad. I don't see why. There's already a plaza that's been on that lot for 13 years that they plan on relocating to make room for the new one. Where they want to put the old one, I cannot say. There is literally nowhere in town I can think of that has the room for all of the junk "art" from the old plaza. If I were to take a guess, it would be that the city of Crackima is probably going to ruin one of my favorite parks by sticking it there.

If the city takes away that parking lot in favor of a canal and some concrete I'm gonna be pissed. It is already the hardest place to park in the entire town (need I mention that they just built another restaurant that utilizes the lot?). And I, for one, do not want to walk a couple of blocks, potentially in the snow or with my 89-year-old grandmother, just to get to get an overpriced raspberry lemonade. Anyone who thinks that spending at least $14 million on a plaza (you know they're gonna need more money) will be worth it is kidding themselves. A plaza will contribute nothing to this town, and the only people it will attract are druggies looking for a spot to make their deals.

-Matthew

The Great Uniform Debate

An interesting topic came up in Communications the other day. My teacher was trying to get us to talk about "controversial issues" but since my entire Communications class hates to communicate, no one really engaged in the discussion. That is, until she brought up the subject of school uniforms.

Now this is something I know about all too well. I wore uniforms for a whole 12 years. Pretty sure that's some sort of world record. Every day from 1st grade through senior year I was forced into the same clothes as everyone else by overlords who attempted to take overthrow the world my private schools. the grade school uniforms at St. Joe's were the worst. White polo and blue pants ugh. By the end of the day no one's shirt was clean. Sometimes the stains from the playground couldn't even come out so the little brats would be running around with polos that were a lovely shade of murky grey. Middle school got slightly better. We could wear 1 of 4 different colored polos (navy blue, green, white, or light blue), and either khaki or navy blue pants. Not sure why they waited until middle school to give us more uniform privileges. I liked to think of them as a slightly reward for enduring 5 years of torment. The worst part about the St. Joes' dress code is that we couldn't wear any cargo pants or shorts. Considering actual dress pants are expensive and not all that available in the boys' department at Target, my mom would just
~On a side note I still can't wear polo shirts without getting sick to my stomach.
 ~~On another side note the whole no cargo rule might be a factor in why I wear cargo shorts pretty much every day from March to October.

High school was even slightly less strict. At Westpark, we had to wear any color of  t-shirt, polo, or button down with the school logo on it (available exclusively through Lands' End). Naturally I stayed far far away from the polos and only got t-shirts. For pants we originally had to wear
khaki, black, or blue pants or shorts (cargo included!), but a lot of kids just wore jeans every day so Pastor Colleen changed the rule.

Despite what a lot of people think, uniforms weren't that bad.But do I think public schools should adopt them? Emm no. Most of the people who say uniforms should be instated probably didn't have to wear uniforms as kids. Wearing uniforms does not make all kids equal. Everyone still knows who the rich kids are and who's buying their uniforms from a Goodwill rack. Uniforms don't stomp out bullying or stop kids from picking on each other for things other than clothes. Dressing alike doesn't increase grades or stop little boys from harassing their female classmates. These are myths. If anything, uniforms are even worse for poorer families. Those lands end t-shirts were like $20 a pop! And even Wally World's dress pants ain't cheep.

Take it from someone who wore uniforms, and lived to tell the tale.

-Matthew

*note: I am in no way affiliated with St. Joseph/Marquette or Westpark Christian Academy and everything I say (as always) should be taken with a grain of salt.

Muffy=Me

Group Project Aftermath

I guess 2014 is the year of the group projects for me. I've had three so far in Psych and one in Communications. College certainly hasn't changed my opinions of them, I still can't stand them. For our group project in Communications we had to have a panel discussion about a "controversial issue." My group chose prostitution, and my job was to argue the cons of legalizing it. Researching the cons of prostitution was actually somewhat challenging because apparently most people think it should be legal. So anyway we do our presentation and I was up last and I thought I did a pretty good job. The goal of our presentation was just to show the two sides, not anything else. Well, somehow my highly opinionated teacher didn't get the memo. She gets up to the front of the classroom and starts trying to change my mind about legalization of prostitution and I'm just sitting there like what the heck. I'm just hoping this doesn't affect my grade.

-Matthew

October 13th Update

Might be a strange entry from me, but I figured I should update. As much as I wish I have been coming on here to write, I haven't been. I could tell you I have been super busy with school, but that would be a lie. No, the real reason I haven't been posting is because of severe sleep deprivation and all the wonderful side effects that come with it (i.e. headaches). Going to the doctor tomorrow, hopefully that will help somehow. When I don't sleep I can't focus on anything. Makes homework impossible and paying attention in class almost as hard.

I'll be back soon

-Matthew

I Be Done

Last day of summer quarter was today. I call it summer quarter because that is its proper name and "summer school" sounds like I was being punished instead of choosing to be there..... Anyway, I take my final on Tuesday and then I am free until school starts in late September. School took up a lot of time, but it's better than cramming another class into next year's schedule. I will be continuing at YVCC and I'll be taking psychology, art appreciation, and communications (necessary for AA :P) for fall quarter. I am still trying to figure out what career path I want to take, but no education is ever a waste and an AA degree allows me to go in whatever direction I choose. Thank you everyone for any support you have given me in my first year of college. The transition from high school to college was easier than I expected, but that doesn't mean I didn't have my share of late nights, early morning cram sessions, high levels of caffeine consumption, and feelings of complete loneliness. But at the end of the day it was a great experience for me, and it has been the first thing in my life that has ever truly felt like something I have accomplished all alone.

-Matthew