Truly Outrageous

Just saw the trailer for the new Jem and the Holograms movie. Now I never watched the original show and I didn't even know it existed until about a year or 2 ago (the closest I've come to seeing footage of it was the Nostalgia Chick episode). When I heard they were gonna do a movie I actually thought it was a clever idea. A fun, 80's campfest, girl power extravaganza would at least be something different than all the meaningless action movies and Seth Rogan comedies we get nowadays. But oh boy was I wrong. The trailer sucked, hard. And people might think that it shouldn't piss me off because I have absolutely no connection to the original Jem, which I do not. But somehow this thing manages to infuriate me. I think it is more of a principle thing more than anything else.

What Jem: the Movie is doing is stripping everything unique about the original.The plot seems so formulaic I swear I've seen it a million times. Person wants to be a musician, gets famous, forced to become someone they aren't. C'mon, I think that describes at least a dozen Disney Channel original movies©. It's so bad that there aren't even any holograms! You think a movie called Jem and the Holograms would at least have a hologram or two. I'm pretty sure Michael Bay's Transformers kept more of the feel for the old 80's cartoon than this does (and that's saying something).

Even when you make a remake or reboot of something, you should still keep SOMETHING that bares a resemblance to the original. Take Christopher Nolan's Dark Knight trilogy. Yes, it was different than any Batman movie audience's had seen before, but it also kept (some) of the essence of who Batman was. Alfred, Commissioner Gordon, Catwoman, the Joker they were all there. Bruce still went through similar events that he went through in the comics (the death of his parents, training in Japan), but they were done with a new twist. If you take a popular franchise or character and make a movie that makes that franchise or character unrecognizable you end up with something like the Super Mario Bros. movie or the 90's Godzilla. And we all know how they turned out.

It might seem a little judgy to say that they "destroyed Jem" just from watching the trailer, but I don't see what could possibly happen in the movie that would surprise anyone. If the movie is closer to the source material than the trailer shows, I gotta question whatever marketing department put this turd together because the main audience for this is kids who grew up watching the show, and this trailer is not going to get them in the theaters.

-Matthew

Sprang Break Playlist

 It's Spring Break! I was so excited I put together a playlist to celebrate the occasion.

1. Falling - Haim
2. Hero - Family of the Year
3. Open Your Eyes - Snow Patrol
4. Wish You Were Here - Pink Floyd
5. Home - Edward Sharpe & the Magnetic Zeroes
6. I Lived - OneRepublic
7. Falling Slowly - Glen Hansard & Marketa Irglova
8. Float On - Modest Mouse
9. Beauty Queen - Black Atlass

Incoherent Ramblings

Lots of things happening. My grandma fell down and broke her shoulder so now she has to be in a nursing home for 6 weeks. I feel bad for her, partly because she's in pain and partly because nursing homes are horrible depressing places. The same day Mimi fell, my great-aunt Jane passed away. She's been having some complications lately, but it's still sad especially since she is sort of the last link to Pops that was left (well besides mom and her siblings, and me and Joe and Helene & David but you get the point).

On the plus side, I only have one more week until school is out for spring break. I have a group presentation that may or may not be a trainwreck, 2 final papers to hand in, and a couple of tests. 5 more days that what I keep telling myself. Not sure what is going to happen over break. According to my parents we are doing "something," but honestly I am just going to be content as long as I'm not in school. Oh and I'm almost done with the Office so I don't know what I'm gonna do with myself.

-Matthew

Almost There

Welp, I signed up for spring quarter. I ain't too happy with what I'm taking (had to cram in a bi-weekly 4 hour art class and PE), but hey I'd rather just finish than prolong this. I know some people love college, but I just can't wait to finish. After I get my Associates degree in June, I'm going to take some time off from college. When I started at YVCC I figured that I would have a great spark of inspiration and wake up one day and realize, "I wanna be a _____!" However, this has yet to happen. I feel more freaked out about this than I should, and I know a lot of people are going to judge me and claim that I wasted my time and my parent's money, but honestly I'm not going to just come up with a career that I'm going to be stuck with for the rest of my life on the fly. I do plan on resuming my education, but I also just need some time off. Hey, my mom took her time. I will be looking for a job. Ideally I would get on at Inklings, but if that doesn't happen I will find something else (not Wray's).

-Matthew

Why the Female Ghostbusters Won't Ruin Your Childhood

Am I the only one that's actually excited for the all-female Ghostbusters sequel? Based on all the sexist crap I've been reading on the Internet, it sure does seem that way. Look people, let's be frank having 4 hilarious women catching ghosts will not ruin your childhood. If it was a reboot starring James Franco, Seth Rogan and co. no one would have a problem (even though I personally think that would be a bigger insult to any franchise than *gasp* women). Somehow people seem to think that by having an all-female cast that it will alienate audiences and spit on the original films. Because 4 men=great entertainment for the whole family and 4 women=shoes, bras, and preaching Gloria Stienem amiright? Melissa McCarthy, Kristen Wiig, Leslie Jones, and Kate McKinnon will all do a great job, and at the end of the day your childhood will still be intact.

-Matthew

Here's a Good Title

Christmas break ends today, which means this time tomorrow I'll be back at school. Yesterday, I went to the YVCC bookstore to buy my books and they only had one of them in stock. Mom ordered me one offline and I guess I'm just going to have to wait the other one out. Over break I was looking after our neighbor's dog Jake and I already miss him. Although I'm not gonna miss walking him in 20 degree Crackima weather. I'm also watching Tracie and Mike's cat again. The first couple days he was great because he still thought they were home, but once he realized that they abandoned him he got real whiny. Despite his meowing, he's a pretty good cat. Likes to nudge my face a lot.

-Matthew

El Plaza De Yakima

Besides weed, the Yakima Herald Republic's favorite topic of discussion is the new plaza the city wants to build downtown in the Olive Garden/Capitol Theater/Orion parking lot. Judging by the number of obstacles they seem to be having, along with the large amount of letters to the editor condemning the project, you would think the plaza would be an impossibility. At some point in time, it seems like the plaza has ceased to be a question of "will they" and is now a question of "when will they."

Like most of the idiocy that goes on in this town (the underpasses, the backwards facing and far-too-small Red Robin) I'm not a fan. I'm not sure what exactly the city thinks this plaza will accomplish, but they sure want it bad. I don't see why. There's already a plaza that's been on that lot for 13 years that they plan on relocating to make room for the new one. Where they want to put the old one, I cannot say. There is literally nowhere in town I can think of that has the room for all of the junk "art" from the old plaza. If I were to take a guess, it would be that the city of Crackima is probably going to ruin one of my favorite parks by sticking it there.

If the city takes away that parking lot in favor of a canal and some concrete I'm gonna be pissed. It is already the hardest place to park in the entire town (need I mention that they just built another restaurant that utilizes the lot?). And I, for one, do not want to walk a couple of blocks, potentially in the snow or with my 89-year-old grandmother, just to get to get an overpriced raspberry lemonade. Anyone who thinks that spending at least $14 million on a plaza (you know they're gonna need more money) will be worth it is kidding themselves. A plaza will contribute nothing to this town, and the only people it will attract are druggies looking for a spot to make their deals.

-Matthew