Antiojos

When I was in fourth grade, I failed the eye test for the first time. I figured that it would be inevitable, with my family history, the fact that I was struggling to see the board, and most importantly - my constant state of failure. Even so, I was mortified (as every awkward, unpopular fourth grade loser is when they come to the realization that they will have to wear a contraption on their face for the rest of their life, or else risk cartoonist risk bumping into anything in their general vicinity). The mortification led to me flat-out refusing to wear them for a good 2-3 months after cleverly stashing them behind my dresser. Sooner or later though, my mother forced me to wear them on and off for a good two years. After that, my strong-willingness ( the then bane of her existence) worked its magic and my glasses days were over. But it was never easy. I was blind as hell for a good 6 or 7 years, until I finally went back to the eye doctor and got contracts. Instead of squinting like a normal person, I just pulled my left eye to the side. It worked, but I A. probably caused my vision to get even worse and B. looked like a racist Disney cartoon. Noways, I wear my glasses a lot because contacts are a pain sometimes. One of the great things about getting older is you stop caring about when people think (okay maybe not completely) and say screw it, I need to see.

Halloween 2017: What I Watched

A little late, but bear with me.

American Horror Story: Murder House
I watched Seasons 3 and 4, then started 2 and abandoned ship. I think this was the end of my AHS experience though. Ryan Murphy's tendency to give up on his projects halfway though, while extremely relatable,  really gets on my nerves.

Corpse Bride
Actually my first time watching this. I was always a little too creeped out as a child to ever give it a chance. But I do believe whole-heatedly that this is superior to Nightmare Before Christmas. Yeah, I said it.

Young Frankenstein
One of the best comedies films of all time. Mel Brooks is an absolute genius.

Clue
Seriously, so underrated. And also, the best movie ever adapted from a board game.

Addams Family Values
Never cared too much for the TV show, but I do genuinely like and appreciate both of these movies.

Death Becomes Her
Not too impressed, but I can definitely see why it has a cult following.

Sabrina the Teenage Witch
Only the early ones. We don't speak of the college years...

The Office: Halloween Episodes
Classic every time. Also, the post-Michael Scott years have not held up as well as I remembered.

Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad
It's hard to think that this ever got a theatrical release. My mom never showed us this as kids because she thought The Wind and the Willows was "too weird." While I necessarily wouldn't call it weird, it definitely wasn't what I expected. All this is forgiven with the money shot of the Headless Horseman in the Ichabod Crane segment though. Damn. No wonder he struck fear into the minds of children everywhere.

February

It's February. Which means it's still cold as hell in the morning when I leave for work, but almost all the snow has melted. It was a really frigid winter. My dad claimed that it disproved that "global warming nonsense," so that's fun.

This winter was uneventful. Black Friday was rough, but it seemed less chaotic than last year. Probably because it was my second time around, ya know? Christmas seemed to come and go. Uncle Dan and Aunt BB were out of town so there were only five of us. Mom and Dad enjoyed having a smaller group, but I didn't. Christmas to me means being surrounded by a lot of people. We don't do anything with the Paradis' anymore, and the Gaudette family group seems to dwindle every year. It's sad, driving around after Christmas and seeing all the lights up. For a brief second I got all excited until I remembered that it had already come and passed.

I got "promoted" (kind of, not really) at work last month. The new position has its ups and downs. It's sort of stressful at times because it is all independent work and if I screw up, there's nobody to fall back on. Luckily, there's a couple people I can ask questions to. Everyone seems really excited for me. I just hope I made the right decision. I don't want to let anyone down.

Two Things

1. There is no "war on Christmas." Stop trying to be angered about things that don't exist. No businesses are forcing their employees to say "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas" (especially Target, believe me, I asked). Get over it.

2. If you are any kind of business, school, airport etc. that IS trying to remove "Merry Christmas" than get over yourself. Most people in America celebrate Christmas, religious and non-religious alike. And don't try to pull that Kwanzaa crap out because literally nobody celebrates that.

Infinite Pest

Against my better judgement I have decided to read David Foster Wallace's colossal "masterpiece" Infinite Jest. I'm on page 40-something and so far I have absolutely no idea what is going on or even the name of the main character. The last few pages were spent discussing, in detail, the protagonist's struggle with his pot addiction. Something I feel would be very beneficial for some certain people I know to read......

Unlike most of the books I've gone through in the past couple years, I am determined to finish this one. Partially out of curiosity as to what it's about (yes I saw The End of the Tour) and also to further prove my superior intelligence.

Men, Women, and Money

Last year when the whole Sony hack situation happened I remember reading about how the stars of American Hustle (awful movie, don't waste your time if you haven't seen it fyi) would be paid. From what I can understand Christian Bale, Bradley Cooper, and Jeremy Renner all received 9% in back-end compensation, in contrast to the 7% that Amy Adams and Jennifer Lawrence got. As soon as this information got out into the world of course everyone cried "sexism." And I agree, partially. There's no decent excuse as to why Amy Adams didn't make as much as her male co-stars. I'm also surprised at Jeremy Renner getting as much as he did. I know the man is an Avenger and he's been up for 2 Oscars, but still he wasn't in the movie as much as Bale, Adams, and Cooper and I doubt he was much of a box office draw. According to the emails, Jennifer was originally supposed to receive only 5%, which honestly seems fitting to me. She was only in that movie for about 30 minutes. For her to get the 7% that she did is stretching it.

The reason I bring this up now is because Jennifer Lawrence wrote some big op-ed about how Hollywood sexism plagued her and that she should have been paid the same as her male co-stars. Only thing is, she shouldn't have. I consider myself a feminist, and I definitely think that men and women should be paid the same amount for the same work. But at the same time, it's unfair to mistake a difference in the time the actors put in for a gendered pay gap. Like I mentioned before, Amy Adams is the real victim here. Why is nobody mentioning her?

Keeping Portland Weird

Me, mom, and Joe went to Portland 2 weeks ago and I'm already missing it terribly. Browsing the endless shelves of Powells, admiring the interesting sights, seeing old friends, the list goes on and on. Here are some pictures I took from our adventures. Until next time
-Matthew